Belong
by CherryPorpoise
Summary: A challenge for MuffinClan. Enjoy!


When I opened my eyes for the first time, all I saw was giant, towering cats above, and I shrunk down deeper into my nest. They looked shocked, and a little sad. I couldn't figure out why. Of course, that was back then. Now I know exactly why. My brothers and sisters, Crowkit, Hawkkit and Petalkit were all at least twice as big as me, so I wasn't allowed to play with them in case they knocked me over. I spent my days in the nursery alone with my mother.

It was plain to see that I was different from everyone else; I was the runt, and I would always be below everyone else. Literally. I was "as small as a mouse," according to the medicine cat, Echomist. And it was almost true. If the average kit was as big as a large squirrel, then I _was_ as small as a mouse.

"Dovekit? Dovekit? Are you awake, Dovekit?" my mother asked me one morning. I nodded, but didn't get out of my nest, like the other kits. There was nothing to do. Rainpetal wouldn't let me play with the others, so there was no point. It seemed like StarClan had doomed me to an eternity of boredom.

When it was time for me to become an apprentice, I watched the other kits leap about like rabbits in excitement. I wished I could join them, but Rainpetal would probably stop me. I couldn't get excited about anything without feeling downcast at the same time. An emptiness in my spirit showed in my eyes; it had done ever since I found out I was different. But, a flicker of excitement glowed in my belly. _Maybe I'll finally be free!_

"From this day forwards, you shall be known as Dovepaw. ShadowClan appreciates your integrity and spirit. Your mentor shall be Larchfall." Thymestar leaped down from the ledge, her fur rippling in the cold breeze. I touched noses with my new mentor, and jumped off the ledge. I landed on my belly, giving myself a massive bruise. Everyone was too busy with the new apprentices to bother with me, even though I was one of them. I was just a little grey smudge compared to my bold, brilliant siblings. I grinded my teeth in rage. What made them so special?

* * *

I was with the majority of my Clan, making our way to the Gathering. We padded along the slippery tree trunks and through the undergrowth. I heard someone behind me yowl from a thorn embedded in their paw, and being shushed by the other cats. Finally, we got to the Gathering. I had never seen so many cats in all my life!

Two large toms sat on high ledges, looking down on all the cats at the Gathering. I gulped, feeling pressure as they stared down at us with narrowed eyes. Thymestar joined them at a third ledge near the others'. I snapped out of my daydream, and saw my Clan walking away! I followed them quickly, almost getting trodden on by many other large cats, but managed to scramble back to my familiars.

I heard other cats whispering, "Where is ThunderClan?" in surprise. I looked around to see two large groups of cats, and us, ShadowClan. One Clan was missing. I saw a bedraggled group of cats head from the gorse entrance, and instantly recognized it as ThunderClan. Other cats murmured until a small white she-cat leaped onto the fourth ledge.

"Now that ThunderClan has _finally_ arrived," a brown tom spoke coldly, "We can begin. RiverClan has found fox dung on our territory, but nothing else eventful has occurred." The brown tom nodded curtly as a signal of his report finished. I felt a nudge at my back, and turned around to see a reddish tom tumbling behind me. He smelled of ThunderClan. I glared at him, but he just laughed lightly. His eyes were a soft amber color and were warm and happy. I turned away, my ears hot from embarrassment. Well, at least I think it was embarrassment.

I felt myself getting bored, so I turned around to talk to the tom.

"Why were your Clan late?" I asked softly. He seemed shocked that I was talking to him, but responded with,

"I can't tell you. Aren't you too young to go to a Gathering? I didn't know they let kits go," he said. I wondered if he was teasing me, but his eyes were genuinely curious. I sighed.

"I'm an apprentice, actually," I whispered. He widened his amber eyes in astonishment.

"Really? But you're so small!" he exclaimed loudly, earning a sharp poke in the back from a senior warrior. I looked at my paws and blushed.

"I guess I am." I flicked my tail for silence and tuned in to the leaders' speech. The Gathering was nearly over. ThunderClan had yet to report.

"ThunderClan has little to report, other than we have two new apprentices: Daisypaw and Redpaw!" said the ThunderClan leader, Snowstar. I heard cheering from all around.

"That's me, you know," the tom said, puffing his chest out in pride. I decided to tease him.

"Daisypaw suits you so well," I sniggered. The tom, Redpaw, glared at me for a heartbeat, then lightened up and laughed with me.

"You're funny... what's your name?" he asked me. I felt my heart pound as I smiled nervously.

"Dovepaw." Cats scattered as the Gathering was called to an end, but Redpaw waited at the entrance. As I passed, he told me, "Meet me tomorrow by the ThunderClan border." I looked up at him questioningly.

"Why?" But he had already left. I made my way back to camp slowly, figuring it out. Why shouldn't I meet him? I never felt I belonged in ShadowClan: Maybe someone like Redpaw could change everything.

* * *

The moon cast its glittering light over the trees and bushes, illuminating everything magically. I felt so much more at home at night: The dew on the long grass, the stars of Silverpelt, the way everything was so bright but yet so dark... I made my way through the prickly pine tunnel and set off for the ThunderClan border quietly. I saw a reddish tom sitting on the grass, looking up at the moon.

"Hi, Redpaw!" I said quietly. Redpaw looked at me and mewled greetings in return. I lay down, and looked at Silverpelt. Redpaw lay beside me, his flank touching mine. I felt my ears go hot, but stayed put. I sighed.

"Have you ever felt you never have... belonged?" I asked him. He looked at me with his beautiful amber eyes.

"All the time. My mother is so over protective-"

"Same!" I exclaimed, not bothering to keep my voice down this time. He laughed at my astonishment.

"The thing I love about you, Dovepaw," he said to me, looking me straight in the eye, "is that you're so innocent you make me forget my troubles." I lay there in silence, not sure how to respond. Finally, I said,

"Why did you ask me here?" I asked him. He twitched his whiskers.

"Because there's just something about you... I don't know what, but there is something that makes you unique." I straight away knew what he was getting at.

"It's because I'm small, isn't it?" I asked him. I didn't know why I said that, because even I knew it wasn't really true, but it was my best guess.

"No. It's not because you're small that makes you special," he said to me softly. "It's because you act like you're not. I'd never have the courage to be like you, if I were your size. I'd feel as small as I look. But you..." he trailed off, his breath swirling into air in the cold. "...are something else." I felt myself blush despite the cold weather.

"I don't usually believe in love at first sight..." he continued. "...but for you, I'll make an exception." I felt it was time for me to say something, but my mouth was dry. His amber eyes drifted from me to the moon, and we lay in comfortable silence. As the sky got lighter, panic struck me.

"Redpaw, I-I have to go," I stuttered wildly. "I'll get caught!" Redpaw nodded.

"Me too. Same time tomorrow?" he asked. I paused, then nodded too. I felt my heart beat wildly, with fear of getting caught and with something I'd never felt before. Was this... love?

* * *

(Crowpaw's POV)

I yawned, and got up out of my nest. I noticed the runt's nest was empty. _I wonder why?_ I thought. Just then, Dovepaw rushed into the apprentice's den. I narrowed my eyes.

"Where have you been?" I asked suspiciously. Dovepaw widened her eyes.

"Um, making dirt..." she said quietly. I stared at her for a moment, then walked out of the den. _She's lying, _I thought. I grabbed a mouse from the fresh-kill pile and sat down to eat. Dovepaw was yawning and stretching more than usual. Hawkpaw took a chaffinch and sat down beside me.

"Have you noticed Dovepaw has been acting weird ever since the Gathering? She's in, like, a trance most of the time," I asked Hawkpaw. My brother snorted.

"Now that you mention it..." he said, looking at our tiny sister. "Yeah, she is. Don't suppose she's mooning after somecat?" he joked. I smiled.

"Maybe." We finished our meal, then set off to training. I kept a close eye on Dovepaw the whole day. _She really is acting weird!_ I thought. That night, I pretended to fall asleep like the others, but watched Dovepaw. As soon as the moonhigh patrol had left, she creeped out of her nest. I followed her.

She went through the gorse tunnel, to the stretch of land between ThunderClan and ShadowClan. She sat there and waited. Finally, she got up and went to greet somecat. I peered from the thicket I was hiding behind, and saw a ThunderClan apprentice! That was it. The secret was out. My sister had a relationship with a cat from another Clan!

* * *

(Dovepaw's POV)

That night, I went to see Redpaw again. I waited for him on the grass, counting stars until he arrived. I couldn't believe how happy I was to see him.

"Hi, Redpaw!" I smiled. He smiled back, but wore a serious face soon after.

"Dovepaw, there's something I need to tell you." He looked at me solemnly. I tilted my head to one side in confusion.

"What?" I asked. Redpaw sighed.

"You want to know why ThunderClan was late at the Gathering?" he asked. I nodded hesitantly. "We got attacked by badgers." I gasped.

"How awful!" I whispered in shock. He lowered his head and muttered something I couldn't quite catch. I pricked my ears. "What was that?" He sighed.

"It was my fault." I searched his eyes. They were full of guilt and depression. I stared at him.

"What do you mean, it was your fault?" I trembled. Redpaw looked up at me.

"I led them to our camp. What happened was, I was hunting and I accidentally disturbed a badger set. One came out, and I ran. It followed me back to camp, and..." He paused to take a shallow, teary breath. "Others came too. They attacked us. Three elders and a kit died. I should have turned around and fought the badger instead of running, I should have..." He trailed off in despair. Redpaw looked at me.

"My Clan hates me. I have to escape, Dovepaw. And I want you to come with me." I stared at him for a moment, then lowered my head.

"No. We need to stay. Give it time, then we will. But only if things don't work out. I feel like I don't belong either, but still I stay. But if things don't work out, we'll go." I rested my head on his chest, and he twined his tail around me.

"I love you, Dovepaw," he said, smiling jerkily. I closed my eyes. For the first time in my life, I felt like I belonged.

"I love you too, Redpaw. No matter what." I slept next to him for the rest of the night, not caring about morning. I just wanted to stay next to him forever. Why did borders separate us so cruelly?

* * *

When I got back to camp, Crowpaw whisked me away. "I know your secret!" he hissed maliciously. I panicked.

"W-what secret?" I said desperately. He sneered, and ran his claws down my spine.

"Don't pretend you don't know," he said coldly. "Or were you sleepwalking when you went to meet your ThunderClan friend?" I gasped in shock.

"How do you k-know?" I asked shakily. He turned his back on me at last.

"Never you mind," he told me. "But Thymestar will hear about this." As he walked away, my mind raced. My head buzzed with thoughts, most of them bad. I knew what I had to do.

I ran as fast as my little legs could carry me, speeding through pine trees and shrubs until finally I reached the place where me and Redpaw meet every night. I looked into the camp: It was buzzing with cats. There was no way I could get in unseen - was there?

I creeped in through the dirt tunnel, and rolled in some leaves to disguise my scent. I made my way to the hollow where Redpaw and his mentor were training. While his mentor was looking the other way, I signaled to Redpaw. He excused himself, then made his way to where I was hiding.

"What are you doing here?" he hissed almost hostilely. I widened my eyes in shock at his tone. Redpaw sighed. "Sorry, but I don't want you to get caught." I looked at him straight in the eye.

"I've changed my mind. I need to escape, otherwise my brother will tell on us. He found out! Please, Redpaw." I looked at him pleadingly. He softened under my gaze.

"You're the only cat I'd do this for, you know," Redpaw wavered. I heard his mentor call Redpaw's name, so I scampered away, hoping Redpaw would follow. Thank StarClan he did.

"Where are we going?" Redpaw asked uneasily. I thought for a heartbeat, then turned to him.

"I don't know. Away from here, that's for sure." We made our way out of the border of ThunderClan, and trekked through the moors of WindClan to the Wood-Cut Place.

"Let's rest here," Redpaw told me. I nodded, my paws swaying. I collected some stray pieces of straw, grass and bracken to make an uncomfortable nest. I didn't care, though. I was so tired I wouldn't have minded sleeping on a monster. As me and Redpaw curled up together, I felt warmth and security. I didn't need a Clan to be safe. I only needed him.

_Stay with me_

_Stay by my side_

_I need you here with me_

_Sitting on dew-laden grass_

_Looking at the moon_

_There's no place I'd rather be_

_Than with you..._

I sang myself a lullaby, hoping the words would take away the remnants of fear I felt. Even though I had never belonged in ShadowClan, it was still home. Was it...?

No. Home is here. What is home when you don't feel safe? Because I know I'll always feel safe with him. My mate.


End file.
